


Sticky Fingers

by sometimesilie (Serpentsign)



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: This could've taken a porny turn but didn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3373685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpentsign/pseuds/sometimesilie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kingsman recruits come up with a game where they steal as much of Merlin's stuff as possible. Eggsy gets in over his head. As always.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sticky Fingers

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻譯】Sticky Fingers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7804687) by [sandykill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandykill/pseuds/sandykill)



> I've had the headcanon that Merlin is super possessive of his things since I saw the scene with the clipboard in Kingsman a few weeks ago. Yesterday I posed this [headcanon about thieving recruits as a complement](http://slackerpentecost.tumblr.com/post/111065113153/kingsman-candidate-prank-steal-as-much-of).

The trials,the competitors for the spot as Lancelot and the puppies were enough to keep Eggsy on his toes for a few weeks. Butas he settled in, his mind wandered and his fingers itched. With Harry being in the sickbay and the other recruits being far too easily distracted by his dress, his speech and breeding to be any challenge, the obvious choice was Merlin. Merlin guarded his possessions jealously, keeping them within arm’s reach at all times and gripping them tight as a precaution against thieving Kingsmen and recruits alike.

A few days later, he was twirling a shiny, black Kingsman standard fountain pen between his fingers. A small price he’d only managed to get his hands on after he’d “accidentally” let J.B. off his leash (and thrown a kibble to the other side of the room to get the mutt to fucking move) and bumped into a Merlin’s desk on his way to pick him up again.

“Who did you steal that from?” Charlie asks, a sneer twisting his features easily after years of practice. Eggsy, not one to disappoint when Charlie had already made up his mind about him, flippantly tossed the pen at him as the other recruits gathered around them.

“Merlin,” he said, watching the sneer slip off Charlie’s face and turn into a burgeoning look of alarm. He dropped the pen and took a step back from it in the same manner you’d back away from a ticking package left on your doorstep. He glanced around the room, clocking all the security cameras.

“You’re insane,” Digby said from his safe spot, tucked away behind Hugo.

“What? It’s just a pen. Can’t you do better?” He watched the idea settle in their minds, the provocation spurring them on.

“All right. I accept your challenge.” Charlie said, the haughty prick. And the others chimed in, eager for something to do that didn’t involve tanks of water, machine guns or explosions. Merlin wouldn’t hurt them. Probably.

It became a game, of sorts. Roxy proposed a point system where items were assigned a value after how 1) big they were and 2) Merlin’s attachment to them. The points were handed out as followed: 5 points for a pen, 10 points for a coffee mug and 20 points for a clipboard. Rufus had almost guaranteed his victory the second week by flinging Merlin’s clipboard into a nearby bush when Merlin’s back was turned and then having his Golden Retriever fetch it after they had been dismissed. But Roxy had proven to be a tough competitor by emptying out her pockets one night and revealing an alarming amount of paperclips, USBs and earpieces. Eggsy was going to have to up his game.

Which is how he found himself crouched behind a filing cabinet in the briefing room, watching Merlin stare at blueprints and run system checks for three hours. He nodded off after a while and jerked awake when Merlin groaned and stretched in his chair. He managed to avoid kicking the metal cabinet only by sheer luck and watched Merlin stand up and rub the back of his neck with one hand. He plucked his glasses off and put them beside him on the desk, turning his face away from the screens to pinch at the bridge of his nose and blink blearily. With a definite feeling of now or never, Eggsy darted forward, snatched the glasses up and dove out into the corridor. Hopefully Merlin’s bad eyesight together with the recruit uniforms all looking the same, would make it hard to identify the blur of a person who took his glasses.

Just outside the door to the dorm, he put the glasses on and straightened out his uniform before walking into the room with his best strut. Roxy actually gasped, Hugo and Digby applauded and even Charlie looked grudgingly impressed with his daring. Eggsy actually felt a little bad for stealing Merlin’s glasses when his eyes strained to adjust to the sudden change in vision.

After a second however, the gasp on Roxy’s lips turned into something less awestruck and the applause died out, Hugo’s hands still hanging mid-air. But it was Charlie’s look of glee, his eyes darting between Eggsy and a point just over his left shoulder that made Eggsy’s blood run cold. He spun around, a hopefully convincing smile plastered onto his face.

“Look, Merlin, I found your glasses!” Not a muscle twitched on Merlin’s face. He was wearing another pair of glasses exactly the same as the ones Eggsy had lifted from him.

“Do you think you’re the only recruits to pull that stunt, hmm?” Merlin asked before hauling Eggsy through the door by the scruff of his neck, his stolen glasses hanging off by one ear.

“If it’s any consolation, I think you won the game.” Roxy said later, when Eggsy came limping back from running laps for two hours.


End file.
